"CHILDREN IN CHURCH"

By Dr. Hoyt W. Allen, Jr.

As the offering plates were passed on one Sunday morning one little girl was heard asking another, "I got a quarter, how much did you get?"

A little boy was attending his first wedding. After the service his sister asked him, "How many women can a man marry?" "Sixteen" the girl responded. The boy was amazed that she had an answer so quickly. "How do you know that?" "Easy," the little girl said. "All you have to do is add it up, like the minister said: 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer."

After a church service on Sunday evening, a young boy suddenly announced to his mother, "Mom, I’ve decided to become a minister when I grow up." "That’s okay with us, but what made you decide that?" "Well," said the little boy, "I have to go to church on Sunday anyway, and I figure it will be more fun to stand up and yell than to sit and listen."

A seven year old was overheard reciting the Lord’s Model Prayer at a church service: "And forgive us our trash passes as we forgive those who passed trash against us."

A girl was watching her father, a minister, write a sermon. "How do you know what to say?" he asked. "Why, God tells me," the father replied. "Oh, then why do you keep crossing things out?"

A little child in church for the first time watched as the ushers passed the offering plates. When they neared the pew where he sat, the youngster piped up so that everyone could hear: "Don’t pay for me, Daddy, I’m under five."